Ljubljana Dragon (Wikipedia)
Nobody sees it from my point of view, you know. “Oh, horrid frightening ginormous dragon, going to swoop down and eat my children.” I wouldn’t have to resort to children if they’d just leave a nice cow or sheep out in the open. A beast has got to eat, right? I don’t stop them from having their evening meal.
Contrary to popular stories, virgins don’t taste any better than matrons. In fact, I like a chunky woman with a bit of extra seasoning, myself. Although I’d rather devour a female than a male – softer, less gritty, often a bit cleaner.
Now don’t believe all those stories about St. George – he was OK, but he was no saint. And he didn’t really slay any dragons, we just played dead for him, poor nutter was going on so much about wanting to be a hero and all. And you do have to admit, those dragon designs on shields ever after are a great advertising gimmick. Sells the tourist tee shirts, yes? And that turns into treasure, which is the one thing the storytellers got right – we dragons do like our coin, you know, all glittery and gold. Some think it would be a hard bed to sleep on, but there’s nothing as satisfying as curling up on a big pile of financial security.
Here’s a secret we don’t let out much – not only can dragons talk, we also paint, draw, sing, write, sculpt, dance, blog, and perform the odd spring musical, if we can find costumes big enough for the cast to wear. We favor Gilbert & Sullivan productions – you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a chorus line of dragons spewing fire and high-kicking to the “Pirates of Penzance”!
You ask, “Do dragons fly?” Is the Pope Jewish? Of course we fly – it makes wreaking havoc on large kingdoms ever so much easier. Though as I get older, I think I’m getting a touch of arthritis in my wings – ah, as they say, “Youth is wasted on the young!” If I had the brains I have now, and the strength and wingspan I used to have years ago, all I can say is, “Run for your lives!”
So, being the philosophical leviathan I am, I muse thus:
If I had it to do over again, I would eat more victims, breathe more fire, and hoard more gold. (Doesn’t finish this bit with a good moral-of-the-story, but we dragons aren’t known for happy endings.)
© 2009 Kerry Vincent
(from a Soul Food Cafe Box of Chocolates prompt to write about a mythical creature)
